I announced on Facebook quite a while ago, that my son, Ben, is developmentally delayed. Not just in one area, but all across the board.
While other moms seem to
be counting all the ways their kids are surpassing the norm, I catch myself
often tallying up the things my son doesn’t do. And there’s quite a laundry
list, let me tell you.
It’s extremely difficult
to not feel like I’m failing my son in some way because of where he is at.
Logically, I know that’s not true, but telling yourself the truth is so much
easier than actually believing it.
I love my son. He is the
sweetest, happiest little boy I've ever known. And that makes things a little
easier. He’s so content with his life. He doesn't know he’s different or
lacking particular skills that other kids have mastered.
A lot of parents tell me
that “kids all develop in their own time.” Or “He’ll catch up. My kid didn’t
walk till X months either.” And I just think – yeah, that’s true – I’m sure
Ben will get there eventually, but he’s nowhere near walking or talking yet and
he’s 19 months in about 3 days (he only started crawling about 3-4 months ago).
I’ll be blown away if he’s walking by the time he’s two. And the older he gets, the wider the gap becomes between him and other kids.
We took him to get an MRI
at the recommendation of his pediatrician. That came back normal. Now we have a
referral to take him to a developmental pediatrician, and may possibly end up
doing some genetic testing to try to get to the root of the issue.
We are working with an
occupational therapist who is wonderful and comes over to our house 2x per month and works
with Ben and teaches us some exercises to practice with him. Friends say to me,
“well at least you’re doing something.” That’s true. But it’s hard to feel
like patting myself on the back when he’s been having therapy sessions for
about 6-7 months and it seems like the only thing he’s gotten nailed down is
crawling. I know it’s helping, but it just seems sooo slow.
I keep reminding myself
of something my grandma said to me:
“Just raise them, don’t race them.”
My grandma, is awesome, isn't she?
My son is happy and has
no serious health issues and he gets along with everyone. What more can a mom
really ask for?
I have a great life and a
beautiful family. And 99% of the time I can keep that perspective. It’s just
that pesky 1% of the time that really gets to me some days. But it’s okay. I’ll
get over it. Things will get better, or maybe they’ll get worse – but either
way, it’s out of my control and all I can do is trust in the Lord and count my
blessings.
Here's blessings 1-100, right there:
